#ToniTalksBS: Mentoring – Being A Mentor.
Being a Mentor
After experiencing mentorship for myself, I was curious to find out what mentors and mentees felt about mentoring and the impact it has had on their personal and professional lives thereafter. I have had the privilege of speaking to a range of mentors including Charlton Brown, Community Development of Voluntary Action Islington, Miranda Beckett, Transformation Lead at Hestia, Neil Fleming at Head of Media Relations at HSBC UK. Pamela Sharpe Founder of Investor Relations Advisor and Roderick Cameron Managing Director of Westcliff Strategic Consultants Ltd. Better Space Members: Romeo Effs, Founder of Lumorus and Rosie Wright, Social innovation researcher and consultant and here are my findings.
Dedicating yourself to becoming a mentor and sharing your time and experience with those in need is not a light decision. I wanted to find out why each mentor had made this decision. Whilst others said they were keen to do their part in helping grow and sustain an entrepreneurial culture in the UK. Others identified the help they had received in their past from organizations like The Prince’s Trust, which i. Inspired them to start sharing the knowledge, skills and even the mistakes they had made along the way to hopefully help as many people as possible on their entrepreneurship journey.
Being able to ‘give back’ was a key factor for majority of the mentors’ responses, though some wished to help as they specialized in marginalized or disadvantaged youth, working on their employability, or supporting their access to further education or training.
‘I also understand the difference a positive role model can make to someone’s life, no matter what age. Not everyone is blessed with positive influence, so if I could be that for someone else – I find that prospect incredibly important and fulfilling. Their experience in the working world enabled them to fulfil their goals of becoming a mentor.’ (Charlton Brown - Islington VAI)
As others reminisced that it was their favorite part of the job supporting their team members with their goals and skills development. So, when they switched to being self-employed, they created the opportunity to support people in that way a part of their job. Mentoring gave them a chance to self-reflect
‘I feel like I struggled at different points in my career (particularly entering the workforce and switching sectors) so I want to be able to offer others the same kind of help that I was given- or sometimes wanted but was not given!’ (Rosie Wright)
After having the opportunity to experience mentorship, ‘it would feel disingenuous, for me not to pass it on because someone helped me along the journey. So, I should not then shut the door so no one can come in. Me mentoring is my way of saying I am leaving the door ajar so someone else can come in as well.’ (Romeo Effs - Lumorus)
As a person from an underrepresented background providing a safe and supportive environment for young people was a huge part of his decision to become a mentor. Similarly, the experience of receiving mentorship had inspired the need to become a mentor.
‘I wanted to become a mentor because I saw the value in mentorship, and I was hoping to provide young refugees with a welcoming experience of starting to find work experience in London.’ (Miranda Beckett)
Mentoring provides the chance for these individuals to enter industries that have not historically been very welcome to a wide range of candidates. Industries such as PR & Communications use mentoring to identify and establish new voices that may not be aware where they would fit within the industry.
‘We cannot create compelling and creative communications if we all have similar backgrounds, experiences, and outlooks on life. I have worked in communications for twenty years; it is a thrilling and challenging profession, but it can unlock the door to great experiences. I want to share the learnings I have acquired, not just with the teams that I manage but with those outside by organization who are just starting out.’ (Neil Fleming - HSBC)
What do you enjoy most about being a mentor?
Considering why they become mentors, there must be elements that they enjoy the most. A common part of mentoring they have enjoyed is the opportunity to gain experience and share ideas.
‘I like being in the flow of new ideas and energy, so meeting early-stage founders is brilliant for that, and I know I can offer sufficient value back to them to make the experience work for both of us.’ (Roderick Cameron - Westcliff Strategic)
Others shared similar sentiments talking about their love of learning the fundamentals of how a business develops from a simple idea and how the owners make these things happen. Having the opportunity to ‘see former mentee’s business thriving and doing phenomenal things’ (Pamela Sharpe) was also a reward of having a hand in their development in their career.
‘Seeing them open up, be vulnerable and describe their struggle is a tough but crucial element to your early relationship. Once you have proven your consistency and you start to build a real bond with your mentee, that usually correlates with their positive change in some respect (if you are doing your job right). Helping them navigate tricky situations or phases in life is often part of the process and being able to just sit back and watch them grow is beautiful. Ideally, by the end of the agreed mentoring relationship they will not need you anymore as you have fulfilled your role and helped that person in some way – that is the best part.’ (Charlton Brown - Islington VAI)
Another element mentors enjoyed was having the opportunity to spend time with someone who you would not usually meet, ‘it is definitely a chance for both parties to learn from each other.’ (Miranda Beckett) As well as teaching them ways to ‘understand their skill sets and how that might translate into their career, whether that’s immediate next steps or 10-year plans.’ (Rosie Wright)
The impact and influence were a common source of enjoyment for our mentors. Not necessarily receiving the credit for the contributions but seeing their guidance put to action was a motivation to continue even expanding their reach internationally.
‘I mentor all around the world, I have mentees in the Caribbean and Africa. I go there I meet up with them collectively or individually. For example, one of my mentees, Derek, I have been mentoring him since 2015. So, he has now set up his business I mentored him through that, and he is now expanding to Germany. To see the growth of someone who has just left from university and to see him growing that just brings so much joy to me.’ (Romero Effs)
What skills did you learn whilst mentoring?
Our mentors have shown that there are benefits to both mentor and mentee in building a mentorship but what skills did they learn along the way. Taking charge of a candidate’s development can be a large task that encourages them to learn how to adapt and ‘sharpen my questioning and listening skills and also be more organized in the ways I can offer support through referrals etc.’ (Roderick Cameron)
In the process of adapting, resilience is key. Every potential mentee will learn in diverse ways and respond to several types of communication. Whilst others prefer a sterner and more direct mentor, others respond well to a much softer approach. Your mentee agreed to take part in this programme or reaching out to you with goals in mind. With the correct skills you will be able to pull out all the information you would need to mentor successfully.
‘I am constantly amazed by how incredibly resilient and passionate entrepreneurs are about their businesses and business ideas, and willing to put in the time and work to reach their project goals.’ (Pamela Sharpe - Virgin Startup)
When dealing with a range of mentees it is imperative to tailor the experience rather than take on an ‘one-size fits all’ approach. In the process of improving your communication and taking the time to listen and outline the needs of their mentees.
‘I learned how to adapt my communication, change my guidance and advice to match what my mentees needed, or how they consumed information, and then acted on it. This is a very transferable skill and is valuable to anyone with line management responsibilities.’ (Charlton Brown - Islington VAI)
‘Ask probing questions as opposed to yes or no answers. Ask open ended questions because that way you are forcing the individual to think through. Because as mentors it is not our responsibility to always prescribe. As mentors you can prescribe, you can guide and sometimes you can pull out. It is knowing where to use what at the most pivotal point.’ (Romeo Effs - Lumorus)
Another skill that our mentors agree is key when undertaking a mentee alongside knowing the correct questions is the ability to listen. Not listening to respond but listening to gain further understanding. As ‘you are in the relationship to guide and to help the mentee find their own path. So, mentoring has, I hope, improved my listening skills, and instilled a bit more discipline to step back and leave space for a good open conversation.’ (Neil Fleming, HSBC)
Mentoring has also allowed for homing of ‘practical tools for helping people plan projects or do structure problem-solving which I have been able to introduce to many of my mentees and- where I am mentoring entrepreneurs- it is helped keep me up to date with challenges that are going on in this sector. Finally, it improved some of my networking skills as I find it much easier to reach out on their behalf rather than my own.’ (Rosie Wright)
Finally, but most importantly the value of creating a safe space for your mentee. When an individual feels safe they will open up more so that you can be rightfully informed to truly access what guidance they are in need of.
‘Let them know that there is no judgment based on what they are saying. Let them know that they are free to say anything, that there is this complete confidentiality you are not go back and repeat what they have said to you to anyone. It is only when that happens that you will be able to really understand what is happening with that individual and really be able to help them.’ (Romeo Effs - Lumorus)
What impact has mentoring had on your personal and/or professional outlook?
Mentoring is often seen as a one-way relationship when in reality mentors can gain a huge amount from their mentees. Skills and values that they can take on in both their personal and professional lives. Impacts that can be felt both mentor and mentee alike, as their relationships develop during the course of mentorship.
‘Mentoring has helped me grow my professional network and helped me build on my leadership and management skills. Mentors and mentees learn so much from each other and as a mentor, fostering mentoring relationships has really helped me learn a lot and grow as a professional.’ (Pamela Sharpe)
‘Mentoring reminds me of the impact I can make on others’ lives if I just sit and listen and patiently put the time and effort in. Consistency is such a big part of gaining someone’s trust and proving to them that you are there, and you are there to help. It also reminded me that working with people one-on-one and being somewhat responsible for their growth and development brings out the best in me. I have to keep myself right and on top of myself and my profession if I am advising anyone else on theirs. I lead by example, and I relish it.’ – (Charlton Brown. Islington VAI)
‘It has underlined to me just how vast the opportunities are for those that can get into the communications industry. It is a very wide discipline, so there is good home for everyone who has a passion for engaging with others. On a personal level, it brought home the barriers faced by some in getting those first few steps through the door.’ (Neil Fleming, HSBC)
‘I think mentoring has made me feel more confident- I am actually quite a cautious person so I'm often really inspired by the way my mentees rise to the challenges they are facing, and it reminds me to be brave! It helps me value my own knowledge or skills more as sometimes I will share something I think is 'common knowledge' and then realize it is actually new and helpful to my mentee. On the flipside it has also been useful watching others approach situations completely differently from how I would and still succeeding, so it is a good reminder about valuing others' approaches and skill sets too.’ (Rosie Wright)
Have you had a mentor during your career?
As a mentee I had discovered the impact having a mentor can have on your outlook, but had any of the mentors sampled received mentorship.
‘I did have a number of mentors when I first began my entrepreneur journey. I had some good business ideas back then but had no idea how to turn them into reality - I did not know the first thing about writing a business plan or a financial forecast. I attended an enterprise program that really helped me bring back my ideas to basic foundation points. I still have a business advisor via The Chamber of Commerce and a wonderful mentor who was kind enough to take me under her wings.’ (Pamela Sharpe)
Whilst formal mentoring is uncommon in our sample, mentors can come in a variety of shapes and forms. You can meet a mentor in all parts of life whether at work or connecting with friends and finding a mutual that works in the industry.
‘I have not had a formal mentor so far in my career, though I have had colleagues that have taught me a lot and influenced my personal and professional life.’ (Charlton Brown, Islington VAI)
‘I have never had a formal mentor, but I have had two managers who went above and beyond in helping me figure out who I was and how to overcome my career challenges and both were invaluable to me at the time. I live with an invisible disability so it was particularly helpful to finally work with someone who understood this and could help me negotiate managing this in a workplace that was very conservative and focused on conforming.’ (Rosie Wright)
If you have not had the privilege of having a mentor, you can look for mentors anywhere, always seek out advice and institutional knowledge from colleagues and friends. It is never too late to receive help from mentors.
‘I didn't have access to mentoring in my corporate career; as a business coach I've found having my own coach to be invaluable.’ (Roderick Cameron)
Would you recommend becoming a mentor, and why?
Our mentors have let us know why, how and what they enjoy about being a mentor. After all their experiences would they recommend becoming a mentor. If so what advice would they have for potential mentors of the future:
‘Leaving aside the 'giving back' argument, mentoring is a great way to directly support the lives, wellbeing and wealth generation of founders - hugely rewarding!’ – (Roderick Cameron)
‘Absolutely! It is a wonderful way to give back to the business community! Many founders I have met have mentioned how there is so much information out there about starting a business, running one etc. but it sometimes gets to the point where they are overwhelmed with information and having access to a mentor helps condense that information to practical and digestible information that they can apply to their business and professional brand. So, if you have the experience - you have been there, done that and have the T-shirts! - why share your knowledge as a mentor?’ (Pamela Sharpe)
‘I would recommend people looking into becoming a mentor but with disclaimers. It can be more damaging to the mentee if you sign up and then fail to keep to your agreement, fail to show up or disengage with your mentee in some way. It is an incredibly rewarding experience, but the reward comes in the positive change and growth you are able to help facilitate and that only comes by putting in the appropriate effort and committing yourself to the programme and the person. Every single person has their own threads of wisdom and something to offer; passing that on and positively influencing someone’s life is a truly worthwhile endeavor which can, in turn, inspire your own growth and development.’ (Charlton Brown)
‘Yes- but only to the right person. It is no good if you only want to do it, give advice, or be admired (and I say this as a person who loves to give advice and is getting better at picking the right moments when to do so and the right moments to shut up). But if you have time and the humility to learn best practice and the willingness to support someone whilst letting them, go their own way then I would say go for it!’ (Rosie Wright)’
‘Oh totally! What I would say is as a mentor know what value you can bring. Because it is not everyone that you will be right for. As a mentor you must understand what your skills are, what your knowledge base is and what you will be able to bring to the mentee themselves. Also do not become overwhelmed in terms of the number of mentees you take on. Do not think that to as I always say eat the elephant all at once right. Start off with one person make sure you give them good valuable time. Instead of trying to have ten when you do not have the capacity to be with ten.’ (Romeo Effs)
How do you find mentees? (Or how do they find you?)
As a mentor there are many ways in which you can find mentees with some choosing the more traditional route, by working ‘with well-organized teams such as the City Launch Lab to minimize the admin and maximize the enjoyment of the process.’ There are an array of schemes and programmes such as ‘1MM (1 Million Mentors)’, for which you can sign up. Another way would be joining programmes facilitated by your employer such as Taylor Bennett programme. Though mentoring opportunities can arise through your role where you can mentor and coach your own team. If mentoring young people is what you aspire to you can also join Career Accelerator, Technovation and university schemes and young entrepreneurs through involvement in different incubators/hackathons. These programmes provide the structure for you giving you guidelines for each session and help you keep track on advice you have given so far. They also help you connect with a variety of individuals such as those with disabilities. Alternatively, you also find mentees through charities such as Breadwinners, an organization that gives young refugees and asylum skills work experience and training.
I would like to thank everyone that has contributed to my research, without you this would not exist. I have linked below to each individual that supported this blog.
Charlton Brown https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlton-brown-11479989/
Miranda Beckett https://www.linkedin.com/in/miranda-beckett-0068a7125/
Neil Fleming https://www.linkedin.com/in/neil-fleming-0599aa32/
Pamela Sharpe https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-sharpe-03a775a9/
Roderick Cameron www.westcliff.co
https://www.linkedin.com/in/roderickcameron/
Romeo Effs: https://www.lumorus.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/romeoeffs/
Rosie Wright https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosieawright/