#ToniTalksBS Speak for Yourself: An Introduction to Purposeful Communication

As much as I always loved writing, I hated public speaking. The burning up, the loss of breath, the fear of looking stupid in front of your peers. Absolutely hated it! I’ve always tried to avoid doing it if possible. But whilst studying for my masters, a module I couldn’t drop involved my greatest nemesis: PITCHING! We had to present our business idea in front of the WHOLE CLASS as well as an industry expert! Very Dragons Den!

So, as someone that knew it wasn’t natural to me. I prepared and over prepared. Writing it down, practising in front of the mirror, practising my breathing techniques. I went in there confident, but once I started talking. It all left me. I lost where I was in my speech and started to panic and freestyle. I had gotten in such a frazzle that I totally forgot I had to answer questions.

All that to say, I was the perfect candidate for Kate Allen’s ‘Speak for Yourself:  An Introduction to Purposeful Communication.’ She started the session by first asking us how we felt about pitching. I expressed my distain, and she asked a great question:

Kate: ‘Are you worried about how people see you or Are you afraid you don’t know enough?’ (Imposter syndrome)

This was something I had never considered before. I didn’t realise the thought of blank faces staring at me, also petrified me. Being exposed or feeling exposed as the ‘imposter’ I felt speaking in front of a crowd. Who I assumed either knew more than me or was judging me for my lack of skill? This is a totally normal feeling to have, as explained by Kate, it was our ‘flight or fight’ response. Throughout the group similar feelings were also expressed.

Feedback from attendees:

“I lack confidence and find it a struggle to get out of my comfort zone.”

“Depends on the situation. I hate all the faces looking at me. It makes me feel shy and blush. I get frustrated with myself. End up feeling very embarrassed!”

“I trained as a teacher, so I am confident with speaking. But I am trying to learn how to translate it to my business.”

“Preparation is key. I don’t have much experience pitching, so I am here to learn.”

“I went to the event thinking my communication skills were ok, but aware that I could improve a lot when addressing bigger groups of people; I struggle to remember what I should say and then speak quickly and get mixed up.”

Kate shared a handful of helpful techniques, such as how to slow down, incorporate pauses and how to exaggerate your point to engage your audience. We learnt that body language and the tone of our voice was far more important than the actual words and language we use.

Naturally we all want to make sure we speak eloquently but often abandon the presentation part of pitching. Don’t forget you are not just selling yourself; you are selling your product or service. So, the connection to your audience is key during your pitch to get them to engage with the messages you are trying to convey.

FUN FACT: OUR BRAINS STRUGGLE TO SEPARATE REAL AND IMAGINED EVENTS!

This is the reason why your anxiety about the unknown as well as real events are very similar. The butterflies in the stomach, the flushness of the skin. So, your anxiety is in fact valid. Kate advises ‘flip the adrenalin to excitement.’ The reason you feel anxious is usually because you care; whether it is about the message you are trying to convey or the needs of your audience.

With all this insight, Kate had us do an impromptu pitch ‘What is your passion?’ we split up into small groups. She timed us our speech had to be two minutes, and your team had a minute each to give feedback. I chose to speak about an upcoming event at Better Space for those looking for jobs in the creative industry. (Watch this space!)

I kept in mind everything Kate had said about transforming your fear from

Fighting Emotions And Running to Feel Everything And Recover

However, because I hadn’t prepared, I fell into old habits, overthinking every word. As well as getting lost trying to say everything at once. Although when I looked at the supportive faces of my team, it helped soothe me. So, I turned the questions to them, once I saw that they had been actively listening and receptive. The experience wasn’t as bad as I had built up in my head.

At the end of the event, I learnt how to adapt my own approach to pitching to suit my skills. Taking my teams advice, I would benefit from engaging the audience earlier within my pitch. With Kate’s advice to focus on authenticity over perfection. I can see myself at least attempting to pitch sometime in the future.

Feedback from attendees:

This workshop gave me some great tips - I loved learning how our fight of flight response can be reversed with a mindset of excitement and purpose in delivering our message. I will also be calmer now I know it's ok to not have a precise script.

“I was always confident talking, but it’s great to know the techniques to really promote my business.”

“I was surprised how well I came across when pitching. I just need to practise once I have given myself a structure to my pitch.”

“I enjoyed the fact that I had to think on my feet. So, I chose a topic that I wouldn’t usually choose to challenge myself. I found that my pitch flowed to the point, where I could’ve easily continued past the two minutes.”

To find out more about Kate Allen. Check out https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathryn-blanche-allen/

#ToniTalksBS - Toni-Anne Talks Better Space 😅